Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Sheena's Journey begins. Single Mom of 3. Journey of Finding yourself.

MEET SHEENA-- New 1 on 1 Challenger:
We will be documenting her journey as a single mom of 3, going through a divorce, pushing through her journey of health and fitness...and finding herself again heart emoticon
This is where her story begins...
"My name is Sheena, I am 29 and am overweight. I have about 70 pounds to lose and that is so intimidating. But I have three beautiful children and owe to them and to myself to make a change and get healthy.
I was not a "fat" child growing up. I was definitely not a skinny child but I was not overweight. However, I remember always being insecure about
my body. I have never felt pretty or thin enough. It is a hard way to feel all of the time. There have been a lot of times in my life where I have settled because I didn't feel like I was good enough for anything better. 
At home when I as younger we always ate pretty healthy and things like sodas and chips were not a staple in our home. However, as I got older and was able to make my own decisions about food and even as an adult I didn't make the greatest choices. Especially now, that I have three kids and work full time, McDonalds has become more than just a convenience. And we eat out at fast food restaurants WAY too often. And its a problem. 
I got involved in a serious relationship when I was 18 and got married a year later. I noticed my clothes (and wedding dress) getting tighter in the months leading up to the wedding but really contributed it to stress and didn't think too much about it. After I got married the weight continued to add up. About 6 month after my wedding I got pregnant with my first child. I actually only gain 27 lbs with this pregnancy. After I had my oldest son, I was obsessed about losing weight. I would work out for hours, limited my calories to 1,000 a day (sometimes less) and would weigh myself sometimes 5-7 times a day. It was not a healthy thing. But for the first time I can actually remember I actually felt somewhat good about myself.
Then came baby number two, and I gained more weight (but ended up weighing exactly what I did with the first pregnancy). Again, after I had my daughter I lost most of the weight, but not all of it. And then baby number three came two years later. I never lost any of the weight I gain with him. Instead, I gained weight. And my relationship with my husband was failing.
Over time, I have convinced myself that I am not and can not be just as good as the thin girls. I have convinced myself that I am embarrassing and have at times distanced myself from friends and family because I was ashamed of my struggles, weight related and otherwise. I have really struggled with depression and self worth. Not all of that comes from being overweight but together it makes it incredibly difficult for me to love myself. In fact, I haven't loved myself for a very long time. After making some life altering decisions, including leaving my marriage, I am working on remembering that I am worth it. That I am lovable and important. I want my children to grow up with good self esteems and healthy bodies. I have to do this so they can learn how to love yourself, inside and out. I have to do it because I deserve it.” -Sheena

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